ADD/ADHD

You’re In Control: Telling People About Your ADHD

By Tereasa Jones | Published November 7, 2016

telling about ADHD

Knowing that something is wrong but not having an explanation for it can make you feel like you’re making excuses for yourself or imagining things. In fact, that’s probably what you’ve been told for most of your life. When you finally get a diagnosis of ADHD, perhaps you feel relieved. You can finally put a name to this thing that has caused you so many problems. It may be tempting to dash out and tell friends and relatives that you finally realize why you start projects but don’t finish them, can’t find things, are almost never on time, or why you collect clutter like other people collect coins. But, you might want to take a little time to sit with your new diagnosis before you rush out to tell everyone about it.

Not everyone understands ADHD. There’s a lot of misinformation out there, so it’s probably a good idea to take some time to think about who you want to tell and how to go about it. Even though we’ve come a long way in our understanding of the executive functioning of the brain, there are plenty of myths about ADHD still floating around. Unfortunately, there are still people who think ADHD is a convenient excuse for behaving irresponsibly, which is ridiculous, but it’s still a view shared by many people.

Your family members definitely need to know about your diagnosis, but you first need to prepare to answer questions and provide websites, titles of books and other resources to help them understand how ADHD affects you and why. The best way for you to prepare for this conversation is to educate yourself, and there are many resources available. I recommend going onto www.additudemag.com to start your educational journey. There are numerous articles and blogs that will be helpful to you, and as an added bonus, it is totally free!

After educating yourself, organize your thoughts and ask yourself what you hope to gain by telling people of your diagnosis. Most likely, you want people to know that you are not lazy, crazy, irresponsible, or stupid. This is a perfectly good reason to want to tell the people you care about, but what do you hope will change? How do you hope they will react? What do you want from them? These are all important questions to ask yourself. You might decide to tell only your immediate family, or you might even try it out on your best friend first. You will know what the best course of action is if you sit with it awhile, journal in hand, and ask yourself the above questions.

After you’ve gained some knowledge about how ADHD affects you, you will be in a good position to advocate for yourself in the workplace. Exercise caution, however, when talking to your boss or co-workers. Be ready for negative feedback. You might even decide not to tell them of your diagnosis, but rather to ask for the things you need. You might need to be away from distractions. Instead of telling your boss that you want a different place to work because you have ADHD, you might just say that the nearby distractions are bothersome to you and you think you could do a much better job if you were moved elsewhere. There is nothing wrong with telling your boss about your diagnosis, but you don’t have to. This is your diagnosis and you can tell, or not tell, whoever you want. It’s entirely up to you!

THINGS TO REMEMBER:

You have plenty of time to tell people about your diagnosis, so take your time.
There is no hurry. Go at your own pace.
Educate yourself. Be armed with resources before you talk to them.
Choose wisely. Not everybody needs to know, and you get to decide who to tell.
ADHD is a lifelong disorder. You will develop strategies to deal with it.
Hire a coach. ADHD coaches are trained extensively and can be one of your best resources. Your coach will be able to help you work through all the implications of your diagnosis, helping you develop systems and strategies to make your life a lot easier.

Just so you know, I happen to think that my ADHD clients are fantastic. They are smart, they are funny, they are entertaining, and they are sensitive. They are some of the most caring, gentle souls I have ever met. I chose to be an ADHD coach for these reasons. Please contact me if you would like a free strategy session.

Also posted in Coaching, Communication, Relationships | Tagged ADHD, communication, Relationships | Leave a comment

Procrastination – What’s so hard about this?

By Tereasa Jones | Published July 28, 2016

Photo by Heather Buelow http://www.Flourishinthyme.com

Procrastination is something we all struggle with from time to time. But for some people it is more of a lifestyle than just an occasional struggle. Have you ever wondered why you don’t do that task that has been on your to do list for weeks or maybe even months? Many times it seems like such an easy thing to do. So…….why don’t you do it?

There isn’t one easy answer, but I have a few ideas that might help explain it and then hopefully you can develop strategies for overcoming it.

For example, on your to do list you have “make an appointment with the dentist”. That shouldn’t be hard right? Well, maybe it’s a little harder than you think. When you call to make the appointment they will most likely be booked for several weeks. How are you supposed to know if you will be free 6 Wednesdays from tomorrow at 3:00 pm? They might also want updated information about insurance. Where did you put that insurance card? Is it in your wallet? You are uncertain. They will want to know what the problem is and which tooth it is. “Third tooth from the eye tooth on the right side of your mouth,” you say. That isn’t sufficient. They will use language to describe the tooth that is like a foreign language to you. How are you supposed to know the correct name and number of the tooth? You aren’t a dentist! You get the picture. Bottom line here is that the reason this is hard is that the dentist will want information from you that you are uncertain about. And so……..you procrastinate.

Another example might be “clean out my email inbox”. Simple right? Wrong. About an hour into the task you realize that the half hour that you set aside to do this task is grossly insufficient. Between deleting, moving to folders, reading, clicking on links and making decisions about each email, your time is up. But you have barely gotten started. And so…….you procrastinate.

Still another example might be to return the pie dish to the neighbor who was kind enough to bring you some pie last week. That should be easy. But you know if you go to her house she will invite you in. Then you will have to make small talk. She might even invite you to sit down and have a cold drink. That could turn into an hour or more. Yikes! You don’t have that kind of time! And so…….you procrastinate.

We could go on and on looking at your to do list and noting that the things that seem to be simple and easy aren’t so simple and easy. You need a strategy. Here’s what works for me. I ask myself “what’s so hard about this task?” The answer usually falls into one or more of the following categories.

Not enough time
Not knowing the answers to questions
Having to make decisions about time, space, etc.
Having limited information about what will be required of you.

After I identify what is so hard about the task I can generally come up with a strategy to overcome the obstacle. If time is the problem, I can go to my calendar and block off time to do the task. (Note: I usually double the time that I think it will take because I am not so good at estimating how much time things require).

If answers from me will be required I try to anticipate what the questions will be and have the answers ready. If a question comes up that I don’t know the answer to I can say. “I’m not sure, but I will find out and either text, call, or email you”. If decisions regarding time or space are needed I can anticipate this and make the decisions prior to starting the task (for example I might need to create folders to put my emails into or purchase additional office supplies, or create a space to put the finished project).

If I need information about what will be required from me I can simply ask. Or, for instance, if I want to return the pie plate, but not risk getting pulled into something that might take more time I can say “I only have a few minutes, but I wanted to return your dish and thank you for the delicious pie.” By saying this up front, I have created an out for myself if needed.

The takeaway from this post is that when things stay on your to do list and never seem to get done, it is most likely because the task seems hard to you even though on a conscious level you think it is easy. So ask yourself “What’s so hard about this task”? Then come up with strategies. Sounds easy right? Sometimes it is easy, sometimes not. If you would like help with this give me a call. I love coming up with strategies. It will be fun!

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Thinking Time and Your To-Do List

By Tereasa Jones | Published April 27, 2016

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“How’d it go last week during your thinking time?” I asked one of my clients. He laughed and said, “It was a little rough. I thought of about a million things that I needed to do, but towards the end of the week I noticed that my mind stopped racing so much. I still thought of things to do, but not in the same way as the first few days.” I was curious. I wanted to know if his mind just got quieter as the days wore on or if he had a strategy. It turns out that he did have a strategy. He kept a notebook beside him and when he thought of something to do, he wrote it down.

Interesting! This has long been a habit of mine and I wondered if I had, at some time or another, shared it with him. Neither he nor I recalled that, but I was pleased to find that it was a strategy that worked for him.

Of course, I couldn’t just leave it there. I wanted to know if he did anything with the notes later. “Not really,” he said. “I just wrote them down.” My mind was full of questions. I asked him if he saw anything different in the amount of time he spent on his to-do list. As it turns out, his list got smaller. He went on to tell me that even though his list got smaller, he accomplished more. He found that even though he never looked at the notes again and he never put them on his to-do list, he was getting the things done anyway. Being the little researcher that I am, I had to find out what other people had to say about this. The question in my mind was, “Does the act of writing something down make it more likely that you will do it, even if you never look at your writing again?”

There are a lot of articles out there about writing things down. Most of them are about journaling, goal setting, or much more structured list writing with the purpose being to go back and mark things off your list as you accomplish them. There was a consensus that writing things down helps us process, focus, and dream bigger. Additionally, we get satisfaction out of the accomplishment of marking the things we get done off our lists. This wasn’t surprising to me, but it didn’t really answer my question.

It seems that the more my client got done, the more energy he had to do other things on his actual to-do list. I’m not sure whether this was true because he wrote them down, or because he wrote them down during his “thinking” time, or because simply allowing himself to clear his head on a regular basis created more energy. But he reported not only getting more done, but having energy to spare. A theory of mine is that when we keep things locked up inside of ourselves, our brains are constantly reminding us to complete our tasks; make long overdue phone calls; schedule dreaded, but important appointments; finish our projects; and much more. The energy used for these constant reminders is tremendous! When we allow ourselves to just relax and satisfy the “reminder” part of ourselves by writing these things down during this time, we are saying to that part of us, “It’s okay. I’ve got it covered. It’s written down. You can stop reminding me now.” Now satisfied, the little reminder can quiet down and allow you to do the same.

I wonder if he completed the things he wrote down with no further prompting because our minds remember more readily when they are in a relaxed state. Is it possible that this practice helps with memory? I wouldn’t be surprised if we find that it does. Sometimes, when I have too much to do and I’m running from one thing to another, I don’t remember entire conversations or having driven to my destination. It’s almost as if I am sleepwalking through life. However, when I take time to stop running and start relaxing into the natural flow of thought I find that everything becomes clearer.

Is this true for you? If you have incorporated thinking time into your life I’d like to hear about what you have discovered. If you haven’t incorporated it, why not give it a try this week? In any case, I invite you to let me know what you think. Change your thoughts (and perhaps write them down) and you’ll change your life!

Also posted in Life Coaching, Time management | Leave a comment

Take Time to Think

By Tereasa Jones | Published April 13, 2016

Thinking Time-01

You schedule time to work.
You make time to go grocery shopping.
Even during the busiest times of the year, you manage to find time to watch television.
Everything you do has found its way into your daily routine, from getting dressed to eating dinner.

But when did you last take time to just think?

“Why do I need thinking time?” you might ask. Well, quite literally, to think! Life is lived at such a pace today that thinking—quality, intentional thinking—doesn’t just happen. Or, if you are like me, it happens at night when I’m finally still, the house is quiet, and most people are sleeping. Suddenly, my brain goes crazy and I feel bombarded with thoughts! I do everything I can think of to shut off those thoughts so I can catch a few hours of sleep. It rarely works. I wonder, though, if I could get more sleep at night if I were to schedule in some thinking time during the day. Interesting thought!

My quest to understand this thinking thing has been a little frustrating. When I try to find something written about thinking, it is usually about meditating or leadership or rather purposeful thinking. I’m more interested in the kind of thinking that frees your mind, the kind that will allow creative thoughts in. The kind that encourages curiosity. The kind that will cause you to ponder for a while. The kind that perhaps you remember having as a child when you hadn’t a care in the world. (I’m sure plenty of us remember daydreaming while watching the clouds float through the sky. Maybe we should revisit our childlike tendencies more often!)

As I thought about thinking, I began to wonder whether it would help to have a designated spot to think. There is a book that I haven’t read, but whose title I love. It is named “Find a Quiet Corner.” Somehow, I like the idea of having a particular spot—a quiet corner—to go to when I want to think. I’ve tried various spots for my thinking time, but it turns out my spot isn’t really a spot at all! It is nature. I do my best thinking when I am free from the confines of walls and doors. I sometimes sit on my front porch, other times on my patio. Sometimes I stroll down to the neighborhood lake and sit on the dock. I feel at peace at these times.

You might wonder what I think about. It wouldn’t be terribly exciting to you. It’s not terribly exciting to me usually, but it sort of clears my head of the daily clutter that piles up. You know the stuff: errands to run, housework to do, projects to complete, groceries to buy, deadlines to meet. Not to mention all of the what-am-I-going-to-do-about-this-or-that kinds of thoughts. When I am outside in nature I can just let all of that go. When I let it go, the most amazing things sometime happen. They usually don’t happen right then while I’m thinking, but they tend to manifest later. Creative ideas come more easily. With little effort, ideas for the direction I want to go in my practice (or in my community, or with my family) start to show up. Ideas start to grow and plans start to formulate about what I want in these key areas of my life.

I have come to the conclusion that if we would all take more time to think, we would find that some of the worries we have might just fade away. Our minds would be still and we would be able to see more clearly. We might come up with solutions to problems where others have failed. Most of all, we would get to know ourselves again. We might even like the people we become! We would most likely grow to appreciate more and to be less disgruntled.

If any of this is making sense to you (and I hope it is!) ask yourself these questions:

Do I have my own “quiet corner?”
If not, where would my quiet corner be?
Where do I feel the most free?
Where do I feel the weight of the world being lifted from my shoulders?
How often do I go there?
What would happen if I were to go there more often?

If you still have trouble getting to your quiet corner, consider scheduling in the time for thinking each day. Ask yourself:

How much time do I want to spend thinking?
What time of day do I do my best thinking?
How often do I want to visit my thinking spot?
Is it outside or inside?

I have asked several of my clients to come along this thinking journey with me. Of the ones who have chosen to do so, the reports are positive. They are finding reduced stress, more creative solutions, increased productivity, and a general quieting of their spirits. Why not give it a shot? There isn’t much to lose and there could be so much to gain. Take time for your thoughts and you’ll change your life!

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Simple Steps for Overcoming Anxiety

By Tereasa Jones | Published August 24, 2015

Anxiety Title-01

Feeling anxious?

You aren’t alone.

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental disorder in the United States, affecting approximately 40 million adults. This is approximately 18% of our population.

It seems that many of my clients are currently dealing with anxiety. Many of them are at the point where they are having difficulty sleeping and staying focused while running very low on energy. We live in a fast-paced world which doesn’t show signs of slowing down anytime soon. With that in mind, I think it would be prudent to understand a little bit about how anxiety works and what we can do about it.

Some cases of anxiety are due to our individual wiring. Certain chemicals in our brains may not function properly. These cases may need medication to help stabilize them. However, any case of anxiety can be improved by changes in lifestyle. Anxiety is created in us when we feel powerless and like we have no control over the things in our lives. The truth is that there really are some areas of our lives that are beyond our control. With that being said, there are still things that are within our control. The problems with anxiety get bigger when we choose to focus on those things that we can’t control and ignore the things that we can control.

So, what things can you control?

What you eat (caffeine and sugar can contribute to anxiety)
Whether or not to exercise
De-cluttering your environment (clutter causes anxiety)
Your morning and bedtime routine
How you spend your free time (or even giving yourself permission to have free time)
Your attitude

Sounds simple doesn’t it? Well, it is simple. But it isn’t easy. My recommendation would be to tackle one thing on this list at a time. Perhaps you could make a plan to work on one item per week. You will be amazed what a few small behavioral and environmental changes can accomplish!

Make a commitment to eat more whole foods and cut down on caffeine and sugar. You might be surprised at the effect this would have on your anxiety. Of course, it takes a bit of planning. You will need to go to the grocery store and buy the foods that nourish your body. You might need to look up some recipes first and make a grocery list. If you find yourself getting stressed at the store, consider planning out your trip to avoid the tyranny of the endless.
Add exercise to your routine. You don’t need to join a gym if that isn’t part of your plan. You might just commit to walking briskly for 30 minutes 5 days per week. After a few weeks you will notice that you are sleeping better and handling all around stress better, which means that you have reduced your level of anxiety.
De-cluttering your environment will really pay off in reducing free floating anxiety (the kind where you feel anxious, but can’t figure out why). May I suggest a body-double? A body-double is a person who sits with you while you clean and organize your home or office. As crazy as this might sound, it really works! Your body-double can provide company while also keeping you focused on your task.
Morning and bedtime routines are invaluable. Successful mornings begin with a good bedtime routine the night before and successful days are dependent upon a good morning routine. Be sure to plan for tomorrow before you go to bed tonight. Otherwise, you may lie awake thinking about your to-do list instead of relaxing and falling asleep.
Nobody can work all the time. You need to have free time to rejuvenate and replenish. Decide to only check your work email account during working hours and use the rest of your day to pursue a hobby, spend time with friends and family, or simply relax. I would also suggest that you not skimp on your lunch time. It is a mid-day break and a good time to refresh yourself. Again, use your lunch time to fuel your body with wholesome foods to help you power through the afternoon.
Attitude is perhaps the most important thing in determining your emotional well-being. We may not be able to control everything that comes into our world, but we can determine how we will respond to it. Be mindful of your choices and choose to respond positively rather than react negatively. Be proactive with your attitude; don’t wait for something great to happen before you allow yourself to be happy.

This list is by no means complete, but it is a great place to begin. You should examine your own environment and habits to find anxiety “pressure points” that need to be eliminated. If you would like to set up a personal consultation to discuss how you can overcome your struggle with anxiety, please contact me today!

Anxiety is hard. It makes everything seem bigger than life. In order to free yourself of anxiety, you will need to take action. Taking at least one of these steps in the next few days will get you off to a good start.

Let me know your results by commenting below! I would love to hear how your burden of anxiety lifts as you make deliberate choices to overcome it.

Also posted in Coaching, Life Coaching | Tagged anxiety | Leave a comment

Decisions, Decisions

By Tereasa Jones | Published August 6, 2015

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Every waking moment is filled with a multitude of choices.

Our brains are constantly analyzing our environments, sorting important information and stimuli from what is essentially background noise. What should we pay attention to? What should we pursue? Even what we consider routine is awash in decisions to be made. Often, the first thing we do upon waking is make a choice to either stay awake or hit the snooze button. From that point on, we make hundreds (if not thousands) of decisions throughout the day.

Those with ADHD can become paralyzed by the overwhelming number of choices that must be made. Everyday choices can grow so complex that it’s easy to become stuck. Take the relatively-simple decision of which shirt to buy. This internal conversation will likely sound familiar:

Should I buy the red one or the blue one? What if I buy the red one and then decide I’d would rather have the blue one? Look, there is a green one too. Now what do I do? I’ll buy the red one. After all, I like red. But I have that new green sweater and the red one would make me look like I’m ready for Christmas. Okay, I’ll get the blue one. That will solve the problem. Blue will go with most everything. Wait, I have that new taupe jacket that would look really good with red. Oh, what should I do? I think I’ll buy them all and bring back the ones I don’t wear.

Problem solved? Probably not.

The perceived solution may quickly become a problem when the budget is strained and the closet is too full. And how often do you actually get around to returning the clothes you don’t wear (especially within the retailer’s return policy)? The reality is that solutions to our problems can easily become problems themselves.

So, what’s a person to do?

Realize that the presence of many options is a major reason for overwhelm.
Accept that most of us like having options in spite of the problems they may create.
Understand that a big reason for indecision is fear of making the wrong decision.

AGREEMENTS WITH YOURSELF

One of my favorite strategies in this type of situation is what I call agreements with yourself. Using this strategy, you would go into your situation with the awareness that there will be a lot of options. Therefore, you make up your mind ahead of time that you will only look at a certain number of options. When you have reached that number, you simply stop looking. This is an agreement with yourself.

Using the example above with the shirts, you could make an agreement with yourself that you will buy only one. If you are afraid of making the wrong decision, reassure yourself that the other shirts will most likely be there should you decide that you want (or, preferably, need) them at a later time. If they aren’t, there will be something else that you like just as well.

BE PREPARED

Another strategy is to be prepared. Know what you want before you start looking at your options. If I’m looking for a shirt to go with that taupe jacket, I would decide ahead of time what colors would look good with it, what style and type of fabric will look best, and what price I am willing to pay. Just doing this little bit of preparation ahead of time helps reduce the anxiety of too many options! After all, it’s easier to make a decision in advance than in the heat of the moment. The store may be having a sale, which would make it easier for you to compromise and buy several shirts. By planning your actions, you can be more efficient with your time and resources.

SELF TALK

We have thousands of thoughts going through our brains each and every minute of each and every day. Some are conscious; some are subconscious. But our decisions are made based on our self-talk or thoughts. Action always follows thought. If you don’t like your actions, examine your thoughts and find what needs to change. I like for the changes to be short and easy to remember. Maybe something like, “There’s always another shirt,” which reminds me that I don’t have to wrestle with eternal regret if I don’t grab that shirt right now. How many shirts do you suppose there are in a department store? Thousands! So if not this shirt, another shirt will work.

Sometimes I say things like, “Stick to the list.” That reminds me that I have already prepared for this. If it’s not on the list and I start thinking I have to get it, then I’m back into what I call the tyranny of the endless. The tyranny of the endless is that horrific moment when choices become endless and I find myself in an uncomfortable loop of indecision. One deviation from the plan makes the next impulse even easier to follow.

Taking control of your choices is a decision that must be deliberately made. With these strategies in hand, perhaps you will begin to feel less overwhelmed and more in control of your ability to make decisions. You already have the ability. You just need to reach deep inside and find it!

If you find it extremely difficult to make decisions on a regular basis, please contact me using the link at the top of the page or the popout in the lower right corner. We can make an appointment to discuss your needs and you can begin the process of taking control of your life!

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Shiny New Objects: 5 Questions to Ask Before Moving On

By Tereasa Jones | Published July 23, 2015

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Many of my clients have difficulty moving forward because they switch gears and start working on another project that might be interesting, but do nothing to further their current project. Changing personal paths too often can be dangerous enough, but it becomes even more worrisome with entrepreneurs. The term “Shiny New Object Syndrome” has been coined for this tendency. While anyone can fall prey to the shiny new object syndrome, it almost always rears its head with my clients who have ADHD.

Case in point: I have a client (let’s call him Fred) who has just now started reaching the goals he set for himself several years ago in his business. However, on our call this week he told me that he is completely changing direction. He realizes that while he will have to reeducate clients (and will likely lose some in the process) he feels that this is the only way to go. Now, understand that his business is doing fine. It could use some tweaking here and there but, overall, he has finally reached some of his original goals and is on his way to reaching more. Understandably, I began to wonder what in the world was happening.

Then it hit me.

Every time he approaches reaching goals he turns his attention elsewhere. He reinvents himself. Why would he do that? Could it be that he is afraid of success? Afraid of failure? Or, maybe his current situation becomes just plain boring. Changing directions does hold promise for new experiences, new people, and plenty of mental stimulation. But if he constantly reinvents himself, he is also sacrificing stability, growth, and the financial ability and time to pursue personal goals and hobbies.

Face it: it’s appealing to chase the enthusiasm that a new project brings. The question that we have to ask is, “Is it worth it?” With this (as with everything in life) when we say “yes” to something we are saying “no” to something else. I left my client with these things to mull over this week. It will be interesting to see which direction he chooses.

If you are tempted to chase shiny new objects, stop for just a moment to ask yourself these questions:

1. Is this the right thing for me?
2. Is this the right time?
3. What are the costs in terms of time, money, and stability?
4. Am I just bored? If so, is there another way to get my need for excitement satisfied?
5. What am I saying “no” to if I say “yes” to this?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with changing directions if it is in your best interest to do so. But when it becomes a pattern, perhaps a little discretion is in order.

Have you ever chased after something shiny instead of following through with your current goals? We’ve all been there, so share your stories in the comments!

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Interruptions: The Cost, Plus 7 Ways to Stay on Track

By Tereasa Jones | Published July 9, 2015

We are interrupted almost constantly throughout our days. Although not all interruptions can be avoided, you can use these seven effective techniques to keep your focus and take control of your time at work.

People experience an interruption of some sort approximately every ten minutes. Furthermore, it takes an average of five to ten minutes to recover from an interruption. Five minutes is the amount of time it takes you to reorient while the ten minute span may be necessary to get yourself back into the “space” you were in prior to the interruption. A few simple math calculations indicate that for every hour you are working on a project you are really only productive about half of that hour. If you are working a standard eight hour day your productivity is reduced to about four hours. Those calculations are based on the five minute recovery time. If you have ADHD this is compounded even more. With productivity basically cut into less than half, it would appear that we have a huge problem here.

So, what is interrupting us?

Two things come to mind readily: technological and environmental interruptions. While technology is a wonderful thing, when we are “plugged in” we are subjecting ourselves to constant interruptions in the form of emails popping into our inbox, text messages clamoring for our instant attention, and phone calls no matter where you are (not to mention the ongoing beckoning of social media). Yesterday, I was sitting in a hotel lobby and saw a group of ten people walking from the elevator to the restaurant. Out of the ten, five were walking while either texting or reading something on their phones, one got a call and answered it, and two stopped walking in order to take a closer look at whatever fascinated them on their screens. Only two of the ten walked to the restaurant without interruption! That was in one casual observation for only a few minutes!

Environmentally, we have moved away from brick and mortar as well as walls in general. One in five people in the United States work from home. Among those who go to brick and mortar buildings, approximately 80% of them work either in a cubicle, partitioned space, or completely open space. All of these factors invite interruption right into your world. In one study about 80% of the people working in these kinds of settings said that they experienced a great deal of frustration due to environmental factors.

So, what’s a person to do?

Here are a few things we can do to help us focus more on what we are doing and experience fewer interruptions.

1. Plan Your Day: Your daily planning should really happen the day before. Decide ahead of time 3 to 5 things that you will accomplish the next day. No more than 5. EVER!

2. Schedule Your Time: Get out your planner and block out the amount of time you will need to complete these items. Then double it. Now block out that amount of time.

3. Location, Location, Location: If you can go to a less distracting place to work, plan to do so. Some people like coffee shops; others prefer book stores. If the weather is good, try a park or the beach. The key is to find a location that keeps you focused on the task at hand.

4. Block Unwanted Noise: Use noise cancellation devices such as headphones. Some people like white noise which can be as simple as a fan or inexpensive noise machine.

5. Alert Others: Let people know that you prefer not to be interrupted unless it absolutely imperative.

6. Shut it Down: Turn off alarms and notifications while you are working on projects. Agree with yourself that you will check email and text messages only at certain times. Stick to your schedule!

7. Take Arranged Breaks: Schedule in time to surf the web or check Facebook or other social media.

There may be other things you can do to avoid constant interruption. Ask yourself what those things might be and take steps to implement changes that might help. We might not be able to change our environments, but we can always change the way we respond.

What interrupts or distracts you from your work, relationships, or goals? How do you overcome these obstacles to become more productive and intentional with your time? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

Also posted in Time management | Leave a comment

FRIENDS ARE IMPORTANT – Five Tips To Keep Friends At The Forefront Of Your Mind

By Tereasa Jones | Published March 26, 2014

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Busy lives and fast minds sometimes wreak havoc on friendships. Add ADHD to the mix and it is a recipe for a lot of lonely times and hurt feelings between friends. Here are a few tips to help make staying connected with friends a little easier.

1. Go through emails and contacts and sort people into one of three categories. Intimates – these are people who are dearest to your heart. They are the people who will come to your aide at 2 in the morning if you need them to. Friends – These are people that you do things with outside of the context of the environment. For example if it is a friend from work, you would socialize with them outside of work. They aren’t intimates in that you would not confide everything to them, but they are fun and they add pleasure to your life. Acquaintances– these are people you see in church, at the dentist, at book club but you don’t socialize with them outside of the environmental context in which you know them.

2. Look at your calendar and enter a reminder to contact your intimates once a week and your friends maybe once a month. Acquaintances will just be on the list unless you decide to move them up to friends. The contact could be an email, a text or a phone call.

3. Have a friend journal in which you record things like important dates your friends and intimates mention, their children’s names, their significant other, special gifts or treats they like. This will help you avoid forgetting the important things in your friend’s lives. If it is a special date like an anniversary or birthday, take time to write it on your calendar.

4. Make plans to do something with your intimates at least once a month and your friends at least once every other month or so. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, just doing something you both enjoy.

5. If you have shared interests, that’s a bonus. You can plan things to do surrounding your interest. I have a client who has an intimate who is long distance. They get together on the phone on nights Dancing With The Stars comes on and watch it together. You could also use face time or skype. At a particularly busy time in my life my best friend and I scheduled dinner out every Thursday night. We both had small children so it was an extra fun time to visit with each other without the demands of the children. One of my clients has a friend that he goes to the firing range with and shoots. They do this probably once a month or so.

There are a lot of other things you can do to keep up with your friends, but this should get you started. Let me know if you have other ideas. I’m always looking for good ideas!

Also posted in Friends, Relationships, Relationships | Tagged ADHD, Friendship, Relationships | Leave a comment

Five Tips to Improve Your Relationships

By Tereasa Jones | Published March 10, 2014

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With or without ADHD people need help with relationships. But those with ADHD need a little “extra” help. The tips below have come from working with people with ADHD for many years. I think they will help you too!

Educate yourself. Know how ADHD shows up for you. This allows you to develop strategies to minimize the impact of ADHD on your relationship.
Get help. Help can be in the form of medication, counseling, coaching or nutritional changes. Most likely it will be a combination of two or more of these. Without help it is nearly impossible to develop strategies to flourish in relationships.

Take responsibility. Don’t play the blame game. Take responsibility for your decisions, your actions, your ADHD, and for educating those who are closest to you about ADHD. People are usually willing to work with you if they know what’s going on.

Develop systems, strategies, and accountability. Systems and strategies make dealing with ADHD easier and accountability makes sure you use the systems and strategies you develop. This is work best done with the help of a coach. This is their area of expertise!

Make time for the people you care about. Relationships will literally die if you don’t make time for them. Make sure that you connect with the people closest to you regularly. (Hint – you could develop a system for this!)

If you would like to learn more about how to develop systems and strategies to encourage and strengthen relationships contact me.

Also posted in Coaching, Communication, Friends, Relationships, Relationships | Leave a comment

ADD/ADHD

AGREEMENTS WITH YOURSELF

BE PREPARED

SELF TALK

If you find it extremely difficult to make decisions on a regular basis, please contact me using the link at the top of the page or the popout in the lower right corner. We can make an appointment to discuss your needs and you can begin the process of taking control of your life!

So, what is interrupting us?

So, what’s a person to do?

What interrupts or distracts you from your work, relationships, or goals? How do you overcome these obstacles to become more productive and intentional with your time? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

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