ADD/ADHD

How to Explain ADD/ADHD to your Friends & Loved Ones

By Tereasa Jones | Published August 28, 2017

Explaining ADD/ADHD to your friends and loved ones

When living with ADD/ADHD, the symptoms you experience are often a normal part of your everyday life. It’s possible that you don’t even think about them at times since they are so familiar to you. However, for someone who has never experienced ADD or ADHD, it might be hard to understand.

If your friends and loved ones are unfamiliar with ADD, you may find yourself needing to educate them on your symptoms and how you manage them. A better understanding of what you’re going through will help your friends and family act as better support systems and advocates for you. Here are some tips on how to explain ADD/ADHD to your friends and loved ones.

Plan What You Want To Say

Do some research in advance, talk to your doctor, and collect some facts about ADD/ADHD that you think will be helpful to your friends and family. Preparing what you want to say in advance will help you be as clear as possible in your explanation and will guarantee that you convey the right message and hit all your points.

Note The Difference Between ADD and ADHD

Many people who are unfamiliar with these two conditions don’t have a good understanding of the difference between the two. In order for your friends and family to truly understand what you’re going through, they need to have a clear picture of your particular condition.

Address the Stereotypes

Unfortunately, your friends and family may have inadvertently picked up inaccurate stereotypes about ADD/ADHD from pop culture or the media. Address those stereotypes head on and offer more accurate descriptions about how ADD/ADHD affects you personally. Clarifying misconceptions is an important step to better understanding.

Encourage Questions

Chances are your friends and family will have questions of their own. Allow them to engage with their own learning process by encouraging them to ask questions. Understanding ADD/ADHD may be an ongoing process for someone who does not experience it, so keep the door open for continued conversation and self-education.

It may be difficult at first to initiate a conversation with your friends and family about ADD/ADHD, particularly if you aren’t used to discussing your condition with others. Although it may be a little intimidating, opening up to your loved ones will help them better understand who you are so they can always be sure to act in your best interests. If you need additional help explaining ADD/ADD to your friends or family, book a personalized coaching session.

Ready to take action and use these tips to help your friends and family understand ADD/ADHD? My free checklist can help!

Also posted in Relationships | Tagged ADD, ADHD, coaching, Friendship, life, Relationships, self-care | Leave a comment

Tips for Dating with ADD/ADHD

By Tereasa Jones | Published August 22, 2017

Tips for Dating

Let’s be honest: dating is one of life’s most difficult adventures. Sure, it can be a lot of fun, but it’s also often fraught with anxiety, insecurity, and doubt. Despite all its uncertainties, the pleasures and rewards of dating are more than worth it. Dating, like any other social situation, can be extra stressful for people with ADD or ADHD. For any of you single readers out there, here are a few tips for dating with ADD/ADHD.

Choose The Right Activities

When planning your date, suggest the types of activities in which you flourish. Avoid theater performances or poetry readings if you know those types of static activities are likely to make your mind wander. Instead, suggest a physical activity like a hike or a tennis game. These active date ideas will boost your energy and improve your focus. Plus, suggesting a unique activity is a great way of expressing your personality to your date.

Educate Your Date

Chances are your date may not be familiar with the signs and symptoms of ADD/ADHD. Without overwhelming them with too much info right out of the gate, find small opportunities to educate them. Understanding is key to acceptance, so give your date a head start by helping them see the world through your eyes.

Take It Slow

People with ADD/ADHD can be prone to impulsiveness. In romantic situations, that impulsiveness often leads to relationships that move a little too quickly. Moving too fast is a well-known dating red-flag, so make extra effort to take it slow. Ask yourself if you’re truly ready to make the next step in your relationship before diving in without thinking.

Work With A Coach

Dating is a highly personal experience and there is no one-size-fits-all solution for everyone. Working with a coach can help you figure out the exact strategies and tools which will improve your individual dating life. Working with an objective third-party offers the exact amount of tailored support you need to make your next relationship last a lifetime.

Whether you’re looking for long-term romance or for the fun of a fling, these tips for dating with ADD/ADHD will help you find the relationship you’ve been looking for.

Are you ready for personalized support? Get all the details on coaching here.

Ready to take action and use these tips in your dating life? My free checklist can help!

Also posted in Relationships | Tagged ADD, ADHD, anxiety, dating, Relationships | Leave a comment

How to Manage ADD/ADHD in Social Situations

By Tereasa Jones | Published August 14, 2017

When we think of the inherent challenges associated with ADD or ADHD, we often think of them being most prevalent at work or school. It’s easy to connect difficulties with concentration and task initiation to difficulties with work-related and goal-oriented projects.

However, ADD and ADHD can present challenges in social situations as well. Even though the effect of ADD/ADHD on adult social skills is much less discussed, it is still deserving of time and attention. With that in mind, here are some helpful strategies for how to manage ADD/ADHD in social situations.

Make Eye Contact

People with ADD can find it as difficult to focus on a social conversation as it is to focus on a work project. Making eye contact not only shows your friend that you are listening, it also helps keep you focused on what’s being said. Keeping your eyes on the speaker will also help you pick up on nonverbal cues in the conversation.

Wait For Gaps In Conversation

It’s common for people with ADD/ADHD to be prone to interrupting others. Many people also experience the problem of speaking before they think due to their impulsivity. Practice waiting for gaps in conversation before adding to the discussion. Waiting for genuine pauses or silences will stop you from interrupting and speaking impulsively. It may take some practice to get used to recognizing those conversation gaps, but you can do it!

Repeat The Essentials

Distractibility can negatively impact the listening skills of people with ADD. In order to improve your listening and to make sure you’ve retained the necessary information, repeat the essentials of a conversation back to your friends. For example, when meeting someone new, repeat their name back to them after they’ve introduced themselves. This repetition will help cement the new information into your brain.

Check Your Body Language

ADD and ADHD make it difficult to understand things like body language and nonverbal communication. In fact, many people with ADD aren’t even aware of the subconscious messages they are sending with their own bodies. In a social situation, check that you’ve adopted an open and friendly posture. Uncross your arms, keep your body relaxed, and turn toward the person or group you’re engaging with. Also try to be aware of other people’s personal space and, if in doubt, take half a step back.

Write It Down

Many people with ADD/ADHD struggle to remember plans and stick to their social commitments. Get in the habit of writing down your social schedule in a planner or diary. Also start writing down any other prep tasks you have to do before the event itself. Attending a dinner party? Don’t forget to write down the date, but make sure you also write yourself a reminder to pick up a bottle of wine for the host.

Living with adult ADD or ADHD may sometimes require a little more attention in social situations. But, if you practice these skills, they’ll soon become second nature and you’ll find yourself sailing through your social schedule with ease.

Want more advice on managing ADD/ADHD in social situations? Request a personal consultation today!

Ready to take action and manage ADD/ADHD in social situations? My free checklist can help!

Also posted in Relationships | Tagged ADD, ADHD, anxiety, Friendship, life, mental clutter, reclaim your freedom, Relationships, self-care | Leave a comment

How to Make & Maintain Friendships with ADD/ADHD

By Tereasa Jones | Published August 7, 2017

How to make and maintain friends

The older we get, the harder it is to make and maintain new friendships. Gone are the simple days of bonding over Barbies at recess. With so many adult responsibilities and distractions, it’s much harder to forge new friendships than it was when we were kids. Making and maintaining friendships can be particularly challenging for those with ADD or ADHD.

Managing the daily stresses of adulthood can already be difficult and throwing new relationships into the mix doesn’t make it any easier. However, there is no reason to give up on new friendships if you’re living with adult ADD/ADHD. Follow these simple tips and you’ll see your circle of friends expanding in no time.

Join A Club

Many adults, whether they have ADD/ADHD or not, struggle to find places to make new friends. Now that we’re out of school, we no longer have a built-in friendship-infrastructure and many people wonder where to begin expanding their social networks. Joining a club like a book club at the local library, or signing up for a sport like doubles tennis at the local community center is an easy way to meet new people who share your interests. Plus, you’ll be combining your socializing with some important self-care time exploring your own interests.

Keep A Friend Journal

Many people with ADD/ADHD find it helpful to keep a friend journal where they document how long it has been since they last connected with a particular person. Remembering to keep in touch with friends regularly can be particularly difficult for folks with ADD, so a friend journal serves as a reminder to main those relationships.

Schedule Friendship Time

It’s easy for anyone with a busy adult life to let friendship time slide away in favor of more nagging priorities. This is especially problematic for those with ADD because they already struggle with managing distractions and priorities. Try setting aside an hour each week to catch up on emails and phone calls with friends and keep that time protected from encroaching distractions.

Multi-Task

Being able to do two things at once is a strength of people with ADD. Take advantage of that strength and phone a friend while you’re folding laundry or commuting to work. Once you get in the habit, you’ll find it easy to incorporate friendship time into your everyday routine.

Take The Pressure Off

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that time with friends requires a lot of effort, planning, or organization. Think of ways incorporate friendships into your regular schedule. For example, ask a neighbor to join you on your weekly grocery shop, or invite a friend to come along on your regular trips to the gym. Even grabbing a quick half-hour coffee with a friend after work can help strengthen those bonds.

There is absolutely no reason why living with adult ADD/ADHD should negatively impact your social life. Making and maintaining new friends requires effort and commitment from everyone. With these simple tips, you’ll soon find yourself blossoming into a social butterfly.

Ready to take action and maintain and create new friendships? My free checklist can help!

Want more tips on developing new friendships with adult ADD/ADHD? Contact me for a personalized consultation.

Also posted in Relationships, Relationships | Tagged ADD, ADHD, Friendship, Relationships | Leave a comment

4 Strategies For Emotional Regulation

By Tereasa Jones | Published July 31, 2017

4 Strategies for Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is the ability to control one’s emotional response to the vast variety of experiences and circumstances we encounter every day. Emotional regulation can include controlling spontaneous reactions, regulating one’s feelings, and modulating behavior.

As we move through the world, we are all faced with potentially irritating or triggering stimuli and many of us engage in emotional regulation without even knowing it. The ability to regulate one’s emotional response to external factors is key in maintaining the organization and quality of one’s thoughts, actions, and interactions.

Although emotional regulation often comes naturally, there are times when keeping one’s instinctive emotional response in check can be a challenge. To help improve your emotional regulation in those moments, use these four strategies.

Take A Step Back

To avoid reacting on impulse with negative or disproportionate emotions, take a step back and allow yourself to regroup before responding. Make it a rule to take five deep breaths before reacting to an emotional trigger. Deep breathing helps an agitated heart rate return to normal and reduces the anxiety or anger that may have triggered you.

Find An Outlet

Once you’ve calmed your initial emotional response, find a healthy way to release your anxiety or anger. Write in a private journal to release your thoughts and feelings. Exercise is also a great way to sweat out your negative emotions and replace them with positive endorphins.

Talk It Out

Sometimes we just need to vent into order to let go of a negative experience. Find a trustworthy friend or family member to listen to your story or consult a coach for an unbiased and safe space to talk it out.

Build Your Toolkit

Engaging in healthy habits throughout your everyday life can build an emotional regulation toolkit. This way, you’ll be better equipped to handle emotional triggers when they arise. Meditation, good sleep patterns, and self-care have all been shown to reduce the likelihood of disproportionate emotional reactions.

Ready to take action and regulate your emotions? My free checklist can help!

Want more tips on how to improve emotional regulation? Book a private coaching session for personalized advice.

Also posted in Coaching, Relationships | Tagged ADD, ADHD, Emotional regulation, Emotional response, Emotional trigger, life, Meditattion, Relationships, self-care | Leave a comment

How to Sustain Mental Effort When Your Energy Lags

By Tereasa Jones | Published July 24, 2017

How to Sustain Mental Effort When Your Energy Lags

We’re all familiar with the feeling when two or three o’clock in the afternoon rolls around and we’re ready to call it quits for the day. Unfortunately, that’s almost never an option and an afternoon cup of coffee sometimes isn’t enough to really help you sustain your mental efforts until the end of the workday. With that in mind, here are some helpful tricks you can use to keep going when your energy lags and your focus starts to fail.

Take A Physical Break
When struggling to maintain mental effort, kick starting the body can often help kick start the mind too. Do some light stretching at your desk or take a walk around the block on your afternoon break. Even a small amount of light physical activity can stimulate blood flow and oxygenate the brain which will make you feel more energized.

Manage Your Time
By planning your time management in advance, you can avoid a lapse in energy that weakens your mental effort. If you know your attention starts to fail in the afternoon, plan to complete your most difficult and challenging tasks in the morning. If you leave your easier tasks to the end of the day, you’ll have an easier time working through the mental fatigue of those hours.

Keep A Distraction Log
When your energy lags and your ability to sustain mental effort is compromised, you’re more likely to be susceptible to distractions. Keep a pad of paper and a pen on your desk to make a note of any distractions. This way you’ll be able to return to them later when the work is done and you won’t feel like you have to follow each new idea the moment it comes to you.

Find An Accountability Partner
Partner up with a co-worker to help keep each other focused and on-task when you’re most susceptible to procrastination. Make a pact that if you both sustain your mental effort until the end of the workday, you can reward yourselves in some way. With a friend to help keep you accountable, you’re more likely to reach your goals than risk letting them down.

Ready to take action and sustain your focus? My free checklist can help!

Sustaining effort is a challenge for everyone at times, but it is an important skill to develop. Like most things in life, persistence is key if you want to achieve success. Would you like additional resources to help you sustain your mental effort? Book a personal consultation today.

Also posted in Coaching, Decision management | Tagged accountability partner, ADHD, distractions, energy, focus, mental effort, organization, planning, procrastination, reclaim your freedom, streamline your life, sustain mental effort, Time management | Leave a comment

5 Tips To Help You Sustain Focus

By Tereasa Jones | Published July 17, 2017

5 Tips to Sustain your Focus

Sustaining focus is difficult for anyone these days with so many distractions popping up on our phones, tablets, and computers every time we sit down to work. These distractions are particularly detrimental to those of us with ADD or ADHD who already find it a challenge to sustain focus over long periods of time. If you find yourself easily distracted, here are some tips and tricks to help you sustain focus better than ever before.

#1: Declutter
Visual clutter can easily lead to mental clutter. A messy workspace is full of distractions that can pull your focus and concentration away from the task at hand. Declutter your desk and you’ll find it easier to focus on the work itself.

#2: Breakdown Your Tasks
Feeling overwhelmed by a big project can make you more susceptible to lapses in focus. Breakdown a big assignment into small manageable chunks. Since each of those chunks is smaller and less time-consuming, you’ll find it easier to sustain focus over that short period. Give yourself a mini-break between each small task to allow your focus to rest and reset.

#3: Use a Focused Distraction
When sitting in a meeting or lecture, many people with ADD or ADHD find it helpful to doodle or squeeze a small stress ball. This kinesthetic action helps the listener focus on the speaker and prevents the mind from wandering.

#4: Work Offline
A survey quoted in Time Magazine found that almost 60% of workplace distractions come from email, cell phones, and social media. Disconnect your computer’s WIFI and turn off your cellphone’s data to stop those focus-killing distractions.

#5: Protect Your Workspace
Having a designated workspace can help sustain focus as the brain becomes accustomed to associating that space with productivity. If you work from home, designate a work area that is separate from the relaxing areas of the home. This way the brain will come to associate specific places with specific activities. If you work in an office, protect your workspace from distractions by closing your office door and getting the privacy your brain needs to concentrate. If you work in an open office, try wearing headphones to signify to your co-workers that you aren’t available for chit-chat.

Ready to take action and sustain your focus? My free checklist can help!

If you’re having trouble sustaining your focus while at work, know that you’re not alone. According to one survey, 89% of people admitted that they waste at least some time at work every day. If you’re looking for additional help sustaining your focus and concentration, book a personal coaching session today.

Also posted in Coaching, Decision management, Time management | Tagged ADD, ADHD, concentration, declutter, distractions, mental clutter, planning, productivity, sustain focus, sustaining focus | Leave a comment

5 Tips to Help You Monitor Your Focus

By Tereasa Jones | Published July 11, 2017

5 Tips to Help You Monitor Your Focus

One of the keys to improving your focus is to first figure out when, where, and why you tend to lose concentration. By spending a few weeks monitoring your focus and concentration patterns, you’ll be able to determine the optimal conditions for maintaining your attention. Once you’ve monitored what improves your concentration and what disrupts your focus, you’ll be better equipped to create optimal work conditions for yourself. Follow these 5 tips to start monitoring your focus today!

#1: Note Distractions
Take some time to become more aware of exactly what distractions are pulling your focus away from the task at hand. Are you particularly susceptible to being distracted by text messages? Try turning off your phone and keeping it in your bag instead of on your desk. Do you find yourself checking Facebook too often at work? Set up your web browser to block those distracting sites.

#2: Experiment with Music
Some people find it easier to focus in silence, while others find a little background noise can improve concentration. A recent study found that having your favorite music playing in the background can actually help you focus on your thoughts. Whether you prefer sound or silence, being aware of your optimal auditory work environment can boost your concentration.

#3: Check the Temperature
Physical discomfort can lead to significant lapses in focus and concentration. A study conducted by Cornell University showed that people are more productive when the thermostat is between 68 and 77 degrees. If you don’t have control over the temperature in your workspace, bring a sweater or plug in a small desk fan to improve your work environment for optimal concentration.

#4: Track Your Sleep
Becoming aware of your sleep patterns can also help you figure out the ideal amount of shut-eye your body needs for maximum focus. Some people find themselves foggy-headed with anything less than eight hours of sleep, while others need to be aware of the sluggishness that comes with oversleeping. Knowing your body and its needs will help you get the right amount of rest to maximize your wakeful hours.

#5: Monitor your Peak Work Times
Some people are most productive first thing in the morning, while others get the most work done right after lunch. Take time over a few weeks to monitor when your focus is at its strongest and at what times of day it tends to lapse. Being aware of your brain’s natural rhythms can help you plan your day and assign your most challenging tasks to your peak work times.

Becoming more aware of your environment and patterns is a great way of monitoring your focus. When you discover the factors which are throwing off your concentration, you’ll be able to take all the steps you need to optimize your work time.

Ready to take action and monitor your focus? My free checklist can help!

Need extra help monitoring your focus? Book a personal coaching session today.

Also posted in Coaching, Decision Management, Life Coaching, Time management | Tagged ADHD, coaching, concentration, Decision management, focus, mental clutter, monitoring focus, organization, productivity, self-care, task management | Leave a comment

How to Improve Task Initiation

By Tereasa Jones | Published July 6, 2017

How-to-Improve-Task-Initiation

Possibly the most crucial step in getting things done is the simple act of getting started. This can be particularly challenging for people with ADHD because ADHD impairs the executive function necessary for task initiation. If you’re finding that you just can’t get started on your To-Do list, here are some tips to improve task initiation.

Prioritize
A long To-Do list can be overwhelming and that feeling can often discourage people from getting started. If you’re faced with a long list of tasks, first decide which ones need to be given priority. Next, choose which tasks to move to a later date or remove from your list altogether. Try breaking down your To-Do list into daily, weekly, and monthly priorities so you don’t get overwhelmed by too many tasks at once. When you have a more manageable task list, you’ll find it easier to get started.

Find Motivation
Often we forget why we are doing certain things. Find the motivation to get started on your tasks by reminding yourself of the benefits and positive outcomes of finishing the job. By focusing on the potential rewards of completing a task, you’ll find you have more motivation to get started.

Build A Support System
Building a support system can help promote task initiation. A support system can include having a trusting colleague or friend help keep you accountable, but it also includes optimizing your health so your body can better support your brain. Factors such as lack of sleep, poor nutrition, and lack of exercise can impair executive functioning even further and make it that much harder to get started on your work.

Challenge Yourself
Goal-setting and positive reinforcement can help motivate you to start crossing tasks off your list. Set a timer and challenge yourself to work for a designated period of time with lots of short mini-breaks worked in. If you meet that challenge, reward yourself for a job well done!

Often the anticipation of a task is much harder than the task itself. By using these tips, I hope you can find ways to help yourself overcome the hurdle of getting started. Once you do, you’ll find yourself getting things done in no time!

If you’d like additional help with task initiation, contact me today to discuss a personal coaching plan.

Also posted in Coaching, Communication, Decision management, Time management | Tagged ADHD, Executive function, Goal setting, organization, Task initiation, Time management | Leave a comment

Mental Flexibility

By Tereasa Jones | Published June 28, 2017

What is mental flexibility?
Mental flexibility is the ability to adapt one’s behavior quickly in order to handle different situations in different ways. This is particularly important when faced with new, complex, or problematic situations. One of the side effects of living with ADHD is that you lack mental flexibility. This is why people with ADHD find it difficult to jump from task to task. Many of them find it difficult to shift their way of thinking quickly in order to accomplish a new task or develop a new skill.

How to manage poor mental flexibility
Because people with ADHD lack mental flexibility, many of them find it helpful to structure their workdays so that they can focus on one task at a time. Allow a set block of time for one specific task and focus only on that one project. Although it may feel challenging for a person with ADHD to work within this type of structured schedule, it is actually more beneficial to allow yourself to focus on a single task at a time. When working on one project within a single block of time, take frequent mini-breaks to rest your brain and reset your focus. Managing poor mental flexibility is another advantage of single-tasking, which we talked about in our last blog post.

How to deal with fear of structure
If you’re reading this and struggle with your own mental flexibility or suffer from ADHD, you may be intimidated or overwhelmed by the thought of setting aside a block of time dedicated to one task. This is likely because many people with ADHD resist structure due to a fear that they won’t be in the right mindset when the scheduled time to focus on a particular task arrives. If that is the case, try substituting one task for another. As long as you pick one task to focus on at a time and take frequent mini-breaks, you’ll avoid the pitfalls of trying to jump from project to project. The important thing to remember is that you can always trade time, but you can’t recover it when it’s lost.

Ready to take control of your mental flexibility, my free checklist can help!

I hope you find this information helpful. Watch for my group on planning that I will be rolling out sometime this summer. NEED HELP? Set up a complimentary strategy session so we can talk about it HERE.

Also posted in Coaching, Communication, Decision Management, Decision management, Life Coaching, Uncategorized | Tagged ADHD, concentration, mental flexibility, self-care, single-tasking | Leave a comment