Decision Management

Streamline your Life, Reclaim your Freedom!

By Tereasa Jones | Published March 17, 2017

When you first walk in the door to your home after a hard day at work, how do you feel? Do you sigh with pleasure because you’re finally in your safe spot, or do you just want to run away because your home is a stressful mess? Have you ever wanted to invite friends over, but didn’t because of the state of your place? Have you ever been late because you couldn’t find your keys, your coat, your gloves in the mess? Are you forced to grab food on the run because you didn’t have time to prepare a nutritious meal? Is your clutter and lack of organization stealing your peace? Do you just want some FREEDOM and REST? Sounds like you need to streamline your life!

When I first asked what having a streamlined life meant to my clients, I got back answers ranging from “experiencing peace” to “having time for family, friends, hobbies, and relaxation”. All of that sounds good to me! But the question is, how do we reach that place of peace and freedom?

Join me the next several weeks as we explore how you can move from a stressed out, worn out You to a newly energized, rested, and peaceful You. Over just a few weeks, you can find the freedom you have been looking for and take control of your life. Before we get started, let’s take a look at some of the things that might get in your way. And at the end of this article, there is a mental clutter checklist that you can download to get started!

Creating the right mindset is critical to your success

Today, let’s just talk about what you can do to prepare your mind for the transition into a streamlined life. All the good intentions in the world won’t help if you aren’t mentally and emotionally ready. Behavior follows attitude, actions are behaviors. This means that if your attitude isn’t right, the behavior and actions that follow won’t get you where you want to be. What can you do to give yourself the best chance for success? Here are a few questions that will help you assess where you are on the idea of streamlining your life:

Why do you want to streamline your life?
What benefit will it provide for you?
What will your life look like when it is streamlined?
What does your life look like right now?
Is this the right time to do this? If not, when?
Do you have any concerns about the process? What are they?

Take some time and answer these questions for yourself. The time might be now, or the time might be a month from now. You’ve continued reading this so far, so my guess is that the appeal of streamlined life is on your mind. Well then, let’s go on this journey together! Watch your inbox for my next post and don’t forget to download the mental clutter checklist below:

I’d love to hear about some of the things you do to streamline your life. We learn by sharing with each other, so comment below and let’s start streamlining together. You can grab a copy of my new e-book “Living Life Intentionally with ADHD, Open the Door to Your Potential” here. I hope you find it helpful!

Also posted in ADD/ADHD, Coaching, Communication, Decision management, Life Coaching | Tagged ADHD, freedom, life, planning, reclaim your freedom, Relationships, self-care, streamline your life | Leave a comment

Decisions, Decisions

By Tereasa Jones | Published August 6, 2015

Decisions Title-01

Every waking moment is filled with a multitude of choices.

Our brains are constantly analyzing our environments, sorting important information and stimuli from what is essentially background noise. What should we pay attention to? What should we pursue? Even what we consider routine is awash in decisions to be made. Often, the first thing we do upon waking is make a choice to either stay awake or hit the snooze button. From that point on, we make hundreds (if not thousands) of decisions throughout the day.

Those with ADHD can become paralyzed by the overwhelming number of choices that must be made. Everyday choices can grow so complex that it’s easy to become stuck. Take the relatively-simple decision of which shirt to buy. This internal conversation will likely sound familiar:

Should I buy the red one or the blue one? What if I buy the red one and then decide I’d would rather have the blue one? Look, there is a green one too. Now what do I do? I’ll buy the red one. After all, I like red. But I have that new green sweater and the red one would make me look like I’m ready for Christmas. Okay, I’ll get the blue one. That will solve the problem. Blue will go with most everything. Wait, I have that new taupe jacket that would look really good with red. Oh, what should I do? I think I’ll buy them all and bring back the ones I don’t wear.

Problem solved? Probably not.

The perceived solution may quickly become a problem when the budget is strained and the closet is too full. And how often do you actually get around to returning the clothes you don’t wear (especially within the retailer’s return policy)? The reality is that solutions to our problems can easily become problems themselves.

So, what’s a person to do?

Realize that the presence of many options is a major reason for overwhelm.
Accept that most of us like having options in spite of the problems they may create.
Understand that a big reason for indecision is fear of making the wrong decision.

AGREEMENTS WITH YOURSELF

One of my favorite strategies in this type of situation is what I call agreements with yourself. Using this strategy, you would go into your situation with the awareness that there will be a lot of options. Therefore, you make up your mind ahead of time that you will only look at a certain number of options. When you have reached that number, you simply stop looking. This is an agreement with yourself.

Using the example above with the shirts, you could make an agreement with yourself that you will buy only one. If you are afraid of making the wrong decision, reassure yourself that the other shirts will most likely be there should you decide that you want (or, preferably, need) them at a later time. If they aren’t, there will be something else that you like just as well.

BE PREPARED

Another strategy is to be prepared. Know what you want before you start looking at your options. If I’m looking for a shirt to go with that taupe jacket, I would decide ahead of time what colors would look good with it, what style and type of fabric will look best, and what price I am willing to pay. Just doing this little bit of preparation ahead of time helps reduce the anxiety of too many options! After all, it’s easier to make a decision in advance than in the heat of the moment. The store may be having a sale, which would make it easier for you to compromise and buy several shirts. By planning your actions, you can be more efficient with your time and resources.

SELF TALK

We have thousands of thoughts going through our brains each and every minute of each and every day. Some are conscious; some are subconscious. But our decisions are made based on our self-talk or thoughts. Action always follows thought. If you don’t like your actions, examine your thoughts and find what needs to change. I like for the changes to be short and easy to remember. Maybe something like, “There’s always another shirt,” which reminds me that I don’t have to wrestle with eternal regret if I don’t grab that shirt right now. How many shirts do you suppose there are in a department store? Thousands! So if not this shirt, another shirt will work.

Sometimes I say things like, “Stick to the list.” That reminds me that I have already prepared for this. If it’s not on the list and I start thinking I have to get it, then I’m back into what I call the tyranny of the endless. The tyranny of the endless is that horrific moment when choices become endless and I find myself in an uncomfortable loop of indecision. One deviation from the plan makes the next impulse even easier to follow.

Taking control of your choices is a decision that must be deliberately made. With these strategies in hand, perhaps you will begin to feel less overwhelmed and more in control of your ability to make decisions. You already have the ability. You just need to reach deep inside and find it!

If you find it extremely difficult to make decisions on a regular basis, please contact me using the link at the top of the page or the popout in the lower right corner. We can make an appointment to discuss your needs and you can begin the process of taking control of your life!

Also posted in ADD/ADHD | Leave a comment

Shiny New Objects: 5 Questions to Ask Before Moving On

By Tereasa Jones | Published July 23, 2015

Shiny Title with Bubbles-01

Many of my clients have difficulty moving forward because they switch gears and start working on another project that might be interesting, but do nothing to further their current project. Changing personal paths too often can be dangerous enough, but it becomes even more worrisome with entrepreneurs. The term “Shiny New Object Syndrome” has been coined for this tendency. While anyone can fall prey to the shiny new object syndrome, it almost always rears its head with my clients who have ADHD.

Case in point: I have a client (let’s call him Fred) who has just now started reaching the goals he set for himself several years ago in his business. However, on our call this week he told me that he is completely changing direction. He realizes that while he will have to reeducate clients (and will likely lose some in the process) he feels that this is the only way to go. Now, understand that his business is doing fine. It could use some tweaking here and there but, overall, he has finally reached some of his original goals and is on his way to reaching more. Understandably, I began to wonder what in the world was happening.

Then it hit me.

Every time he approaches reaching goals he turns his attention elsewhere. He reinvents himself. Why would he do that? Could it be that he is afraid of success? Afraid of failure? Or, maybe his current situation becomes just plain boring. Changing directions does hold promise for new experiences, new people, and plenty of mental stimulation. But if he constantly reinvents himself, he is also sacrificing stability, growth, and the financial ability and time to pursue personal goals and hobbies.

Face it: it’s appealing to chase the enthusiasm that a new project brings. The question that we have to ask is, “Is it worth it?” With this (as with everything in life) when we say “yes” to something we are saying “no” to something else. I left my client with these things to mull over this week. It will be interesting to see which direction he chooses.

If you are tempted to chase shiny new objects, stop for just a moment to ask yourself these questions:

1. Is this the right thing for me?
2. Is this the right time?
3. What are the costs in terms of time, money, and stability?
4. Am I just bored? If so, is there another way to get my need for excitement satisfied?
5. What am I saying “no” to if I say “yes” to this?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with changing directions if it is in your best interest to do so. But when it becomes a pattern, perhaps a little discretion is in order.

Have you ever chased after something shiny instead of following through with your current goals? We’ve all been there, so share your stories in the comments!

Also posted in ADD/ADHD, Coaching | Leave a comment

Decisions, Decisions! Not Easy for Adults with ADHD

By Tereasa Jones | Published March 6, 2014

A friend is writing a book about decision management. She says that you can’t manage time, but you can manage decisions. I think she might be right unless…….You have ADHD. Decisions are difficult for people with ADHD. Because decisions are difficult many times they over-complicate an issue. They take a walk down the “What If” lane.

An example might be trying to make a decision about what color of T-shirt to buy. Seriously! This is difficult for those with ADHD. Should they buy the blue, red or green one? They might stand there trying to decide for a good little while until……they either walk away without buying any, or they buy one in each color. As they walk away, however, they have buyer’s remorse if they bought one in each color or near panic if they didn’t buy any of them. They fear that if they decide that they want the shirt, they will be sold out, or they fear getting their credit card bill in the mail and having to explain to their spouse that they did it again! They couldn’t decide so, they bought them all!

While you might think this is rather amusing, it’s really painful for the Adult with ADHD. So what’s the way out? A little self- talk would be in order here. Tell yourself that you would rather have different styles of shirts so you will only buy one. But which one will it be??? The one that goes with your eyes, of course. Hold the shirt up close to your face and see if it brightens your face. If it does, that’s the one! It really is just that simple. Give it a shot and let me know how it works out for you! Oh, and by the way, this happens with non-ADHD people too, so listen up!

Also posted in ADD/ADHD, Time management | Tagged ADHD, Decision management, Time management | Leave a comment