Life Coaching with Tereasa Jones - Navigate the World of Relationships

Life Coaching with Tereasa Jones - Navigate the World of Relationships

Tereasa Jones
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Simple Steps for Overcoming Anxiety

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Feeling anxious?

You aren’t alone.

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental disorder in the United States, affecting approximately 40 million adults. This is approximately 18% of our population.

It seems that many of my clients are currently dealing with anxiety. Many of them are at the point where they are having difficulty sleeping and staying focused while running very low on energy. We live in a fast-paced world which doesn’t show signs of slowing down anytime soon. With that in mind, I think it would be prudent to understand a little bit about how anxiety works and what we can do about it.

Some cases of anxiety are due to our individual wiring. Certain chemicals in our brains may not function properly. These cases may need medication to help stabilize them. However, any case of anxiety can be improved by changes in lifestyle. Anxiety is created in us when we feel powerless and like we have no control over the things in our lives. The truth is that there really are some areas of our lives that are beyond our control. With that being said, there are still things that are within our control. The problems with anxiety get bigger when we choose to focus on those things that we can’t control and ignore the things that we can control.

So, what things can you control?

  • What you eat (caffeine and sugar can contribute to anxiety)
  • Whether or not to exercise
  • De-cluttering your environment (clutter causes anxiety)
  • Your morning and bedtime routine
  • How you spend your free time (or even giving yourself permission to have free time)
  • Your attitude

Sounds simple doesn’t it? Well, it is simple. But it isn’t easy. My recommendation would be to tackle one thing on this list at a time. Perhaps you could make a plan to work on one item per week. You will be amazed what a few small behavioral and environmental changes can accomplish!

  • Make a commitment to eat more whole foods and cut down on caffeine and sugar. You might be surprised at the effect this would have on your anxiety. Of course, it takes a bit of planning. You will need to go to the grocery store and buy the foods that nourish your body. You might need to look up some recipes first and make a grocery list. If you find yourself getting stressed at the store, consider planning out your trip to avoid the tyranny of the endless.
  • Add exercise to your routine. You don’t need to join a gym if that isn’t part of your plan. You might just commit to walking briskly for 30 minutes 5 days per week. After a few weeks you will notice that you are sleeping better and handling all around stress better, which means that you have reduced your level of anxiety.
  • De-cluttering your environment will really pay off in reducing free floating anxiety (the kind where you feel anxious, but can’t figure out why). May I suggest a body-double? A body-double is a person who sits with you while you clean and organize your home or office. As crazy as this might sound, it really works! Your body-double can provide company while also keeping you focused on your task.
  • Morning and bedtime routines are invaluable. Successful mornings begin with a good bedtime routine the night before and successful days are dependent upon a good morning routine. Be sure to plan for tomorrow before you go to bed tonight. Otherwise, you may lie awake thinking about your to-do list instead of relaxing and falling asleep.
  • Nobody can work all the time. You need to have free time to rejuvenate and replenish. Decide to only check your work email account during working hours and use the rest of your day to pursue a hobby, spend time with friends and family, or simply relax. I would also suggest that you not skimp on your lunch time. It is a mid-day break and a good time to refresh yourself. Again, use your lunch time to fuel your body with wholesome foods to help you power through the afternoon.
  • Attitude is perhaps the most important thing in determining your emotional well-being. We may not be able to control everything that comes into our world, but we can determine how we will respond to it. Be mindful of your choices and choose to respond positively rather than react negatively. Be proactive with your attitude; don’t wait for something great to happen before you allow yourself to be happy.

This list is by no means complete, but it is a great place to begin. You should examine your own environment and habits to find anxiety “pressure points” that need to be eliminated. If you would like to set up a personal consultation to discuss how you can overcome your struggle with anxiety, please contact me today!

Anxiety is hard. It makes everything seem bigger than life. In order to free yourself of anxiety, you will need to take action. Taking at least one of these steps in the next few days will get you off to a good start.

Let me know your results by commenting below! I would love to hear how your burden of anxiety lifts as you make deliberate choices to overcome it.

 

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Decisions, Decisions

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Every waking moment is filled with a multitude of choices.

Our brains are constantly analyzing our environments, sorting important information and stimuli from what is essentially background noise. What should we pay attention to? What should we pursue? Even what we consider routine is awash in decisions to be made. Often, the first thing we do upon waking is make a choice to either stay awake or hit the snooze button. From that point on, we make hundreds (if not thousands) of decisions throughout the day.

Those with ADHD can become paralyzed by the overwhelming number of choices that must be made. Everyday choices can grow so complex that it’s easy to become stuck. Take the relatively-simple decision of which shirt to buy. This internal conversation will likely sound familiar:

Should I buy the red one or the blue one? What if I buy the red one and then decide I’d would rather have the blue one? Look, there is a green one too. Now what do I do? I’ll buy the red one. After all, I like red. But I have that new green sweater and the red one would make me look like I’m ready for Christmas. Okay, I’ll get the blue one. That will solve the problem. Blue will go with most everything. Wait, I have that new taupe jacket that would look really good with red. Oh, what should I do? I think I’ll buy them all and bring back the ones I don’t wear.

Problem solved? Probably not.

The perceived solution may quickly become a problem when the budget is strained and the closet is too full. And how often do you actually get around to returning the clothes you don’t wear (especially within the retailer’s return policy)? The reality is that solutions to our problems can easily become problems themselves.

So, what’s a person to do?

  • Realize that the presence of many options is a major reason for overwhelm.
  • Accept that most of us like having options in spite of the problems they may create.
  • Understand that a big reason for indecision is fear of making the wrong decision.

AGREEMENTS WITH YOURSELF

One of my favorite strategies in this type of situation is what I call agreements with yourself. Using this strategy, you would go into your situation with the awareness that there will be a lot of options. Therefore, you make up your mind ahead of time that you will only look at a certain number of options. When you have reached that number, you simply stop looking. This is an agreement with yourself.

Using the example above with the shirts, you could make an agreement with yourself that you will buy only one. If you are afraid of making the wrong decision, reassure yourself that the other shirts will most likely be there should you decide that you want (or, preferably, need) them at a later time. If they aren’t, there will be something else that you like just as well.

BE PREPARED

Another strategy is to be prepared. Know what you want before you start looking at your options. If I’m looking for a shirt to go with that taupe jacket, I would decide ahead of time what colors would look good with it, what style and type of fabric will look best, and what price I am willing to pay. Just doing this little bit of preparation ahead of time helps reduce the anxiety of too many options! After all, it’s easier to make a decision in advance than in the heat of the moment. The store may be having a sale, which would make it easier for you to compromise and buy several shirts. By planning your actions, you can be more efficient with your time and resources.

SELF TALK

We have thousands of thoughts going through our brains each and every minute of each and every day. Some are conscious; some are subconscious. But our decisions are made based on our self-talk or thoughts. Action always follows thought. If you don’t like your actions, examine your thoughts and find what needs to change. I like for the changes to be short and easy to remember. Maybe something like, “There’s always another shirt,” which reminds me that I don’t have to wrestle with eternal regret if I don’t grab that shirt right now. How many shirts do you suppose there are in a department store? Thousands! So if not this shirt, another shirt will work.

Sometimes I say things like, “Stick to the list.” That reminds me that I have already prepared for this. If it’s not on the list and I start thinking I have to get it, then I’m back into what I call the tyranny of the endless. The tyranny of the endless is that horrific moment when choices become endless and I find myself in an uncomfortable loop of indecision. One deviation from the plan makes the next impulse even easier to follow.

Taking control of your choices is a decision that must be deliberately made. With these strategies in hand, perhaps you will begin to feel less overwhelmed and more in control of your ability to make decisions. You already have the ability. You just need to reach deep inside and find it!

If you find it extremely difficult to make decisions on a regular basis, please contact me using the link at the top of the page or the popout in the lower right corner. We can make an appointment to discuss your needs and you can begin the process of taking control of your life!

 

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Shiny New Objects: 5 Questions to Ask Before Moving On

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Many of my clients have difficulty moving forward because they switch gears and start working on another project that might be interesting, but do nothing to further their current project. Changing personal paths too often can be dangerous enough, but it becomes even more worrisome with entrepreneurs. The term “Shiny New Object Syndrome” has been coined for this tendency. While anyone can fall prey to the shiny new object syndrome, it almost always rears its head with my clients who have ADHD.

Case in point: I have a client (let’s call him Fred) who has just now started reaching the goals he set for himself several years ago in his business. However, on our call this week he told me that he is completely changing direction. He realizes that while he will have to reeducate clients (and will likely lose some in the process) he feels that this is the only way to go. Now, understand that his business is doing fine. It could use some tweaking here and there but, overall, he has finally reached some of his original goals and is on his way to reaching more. Understandably, I began to wonder what in the world was happening.

Then it hit me.

Every time he approaches reaching goals he turns his attention elsewhere. He reinvents himself. Why would he do that? Could it be that he is afraid of success? Afraid of failure? Or, maybe his current situation becomes just plain boring. Changing directions does hold promise for new experiences, new people, and plenty of mental stimulation. But if he constantly reinvents himself, he is also sacrificing stability, growth, and the financial ability and time to pursue personal goals and hobbies.

Face it: it’s appealing to chase the enthusiasm that a new project brings. The question that we have to ask is, “Is it worth it?” With this (as with everything in life) when we say “yes” to something we are saying “no” to something else. I left my client with these things to mull over this week. It will be interesting to see which direction he chooses.

If you are tempted to chase shiny new objects, stop for just a moment to ask yourself these questions:

1. Is this the right thing for me?
2. Is this the right time?
3. What are the costs in terms of time, money, and stability?
4. Am I just bored? If so, is there another way to get my need for excitement satisfied?
5. What am I saying “no” to if I say “yes” to this?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with changing directions if it is in your best interest to do so. But when it becomes a pattern, perhaps a little discretion is in order.

Have you ever chased after something shiny instead of following through with your current goals? We’ve all been there, so share your stories in the comments!

 

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Interruptions: The Cost, Plus 7 Ways to Stay on Track

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We are interrupted almost constantly throughout our days. Although not all interruptions can be avoided, you can use these seven effective techniques to keep your focus and take control of your time at work.

 

People experience an interruption of some sort approximately every ten minutes. Furthermore, it takes an average of five to ten minutes to recover from an interruption. Five minutes is the amount of time it takes you to reorient while the ten minute span may be necessary to get yourself back into the “space” you were in prior to the interruption. A few simple math calculations indicate that for every hour you are working on a project you are really only productive about half of that hour. If you are working a standard eight hour day your productivity is reduced to about four hours. Those calculations are based on the five minute recovery time. If you have ADHD this is compounded even more. With productivity basically cut into less than half, it would appear that we have a huge problem here.

So, what is interrupting us?

Two things come to mind readily: technological and environmental interruptions. While technology is a wonderful thing, when we are “plugged in” we are subjecting ourselves to constant interruptions in the form of emails popping into our inbox, text messages clamoring for our instant attention, and phone calls no matter where you are (not to mention the ongoing beckoning of social media). Yesterday, I was sitting in a hotel lobby and saw a group of ten people walking from the elevator to the restaurant. Out of the ten, five were walking while either texting or reading something on their phones, one got a call and answered it, and two stopped walking in order to take a closer look at whatever fascinated them on their screens. Only two of the ten walked to the restaurant without interruption! That was in one casual observation for only a few minutes!

Environmentally, we have moved away from brick and mortar as well as walls in general. One in five people in the United States work from home. Among those who go to brick and mortar buildings, approximately 80% of them work either in a cubicle, partitioned space, or completely open space. All of these factors invite interruption right into your world. In one study about 80% of the people working in these kinds of settings said that they experienced a great deal of frustration due to environmental factors.

So, what’s a person to do?

Here are a few things we can do to help us focus more on what we are doing and experience fewer interruptions.

1. Plan Your Day: Your daily planning should really happen the day before. Decide ahead of time 3 to 5 things that you will accomplish the next day. No more than 5. EVER!

2. Schedule Your Time: Get out your planner and block out the amount of time you will need to complete these items. Then double it. Now block out that amount of time.

3. Location, Location, Location: If you can go to a less distracting place to work, plan to do so. Some people like coffee shops; others prefer book stores. If the weather is good, try a park or the beach. The key is to find a location that keeps you focused on the task at hand.

4. Block Unwanted Noise: Use noise cancellation devices such as headphones. Some people like white noise which can be as simple as a fan or inexpensive noise machine.

5. Alert Others: Let people know that you prefer not to be interrupted unless it absolutely imperative.

6. Shut it Down: Turn off alarms and notifications while you are working on projects. Agree with yourself that you will check email and text messages only at certain times. Stick to your schedule!

7. Take Arranged Breaks: Schedule in time to surf the web or check Facebook or other social media.

There may be other things you can do to avoid constant interruption. Ask yourself what those things might be and take steps to implement changes that might help. We might not be able to change our environments, but we can always change the way we respond.

What interrupts or distracts you from your work, relationships, or goals? How do you overcome these obstacles to become more productive and intentional with your time? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

 

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FRIENDS ARE IMPORTANT – Five Tips To Keep Friends At The Forefront Of Your Mind

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Busy lives and fast minds sometimes wreak havoc on friendships.  Add ADHD to the mix and it is a recipe for a lot of lonely times and hurt feelings between friends.  Here are a few tips to help make staying connected with friends a little easier.

1.    Go through emails and  contacts and sort people into one of three categories.  Intimates – these are people who are dearest to your heart.  They are the people who will come to your aide at 2 in the morning if you need them to.  Friends – These are people that you do things with outside of the context of the environment.  For example if it is a friend from work, you would socialize with them outside of work.  They aren’t intimates in that you would not confide everything to them, but they are fun and they add pleasure to your life.  Acquaintances– these are people you see in church, at the dentist, at book club but you don’t socialize with them outside of the environmental context in which you know them.

2.    Look at your calendar and enter a reminder to contact your intimates once a week and your friends maybe once a month.  Acquaintances will just be on the list unless you decide to move them up to friends.  The contact could be an email, a text or a phone call.

3.    Have a friend journal in which you record things like important dates your friends and intimates mention, their children’s names, their significant other, special gifts or treats they like.  This will help you avoid forgetting the important things in your friend’s lives.  If it is a special date like an anniversary or birthday, take time to write it on your calendar.

4.    Make plans to do something with your intimates at least once a month and your friends at least once every other month or so.  It doesn’t have to be elaborate, just doing something you both enjoy.

5.    If you have shared interests, that’s a bonus.  You can plan things to do surrounding your interest.  I have a client who has an intimate who is long distance.  They get together on the phone on nights Dancing With The Stars comes on and watch it together.  You could also use face time or skype.  At a particularly busy time in my life my best friend and I scheduled dinner out every Thursday night.  We both had small children so it was an extra fun time to visit with each other without the demands of the children.  One of my clients has a friend that he goes to the firing range with and shoots.  They do this probably once a month or so.

There are a lot of other things you can do to keep up with your friends, but this should get you started.  Let me know if you have other ideas.  I’m always looking for good ideas!

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Five Tips to Improve Your Relationships

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With or without ADHD people need help with relationships.  But those with ADHD need a little “extra” help.  The tips below have come from working with people with ADHD for many years.  I think they will help you too!

Educate yourself.  Know how ADHD shows up for you.  This allows you to develop strategies to minimize the impact of ADHD on your relationship.
Get help. Help can be in the form of medication, counseling, coaching or nutritional changes.  Most likely it will be a combination of two or more of these.  Without help it is nearly impossible to develop strategies to flourish in relationships.

Take responsibility.  Don’t play the blame game.  Take responsibility for your decisions, your actions, your ADHD, and for educating those who are closest to you about ADHD.  People are usually willing to work with you if they know what’s going on.

Develop systems, strategies, and accountability.  Systems and strategies make dealing with ADHD easier and accountability makes sure you use the systems and strategies you develop.  This is work best done with the help of a coach.  This is their area of expertise!

Make time for the people you care about.  Relationships will literally die if you don’t make time for them.  Make sure that you connect with the people closest to you regularly.  (Hint – you could develop a system for this!)

If you would like to learn more about how to develop systems and strategies to encourage and strengthen relationships contact me.

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Decisions, Decisions! Not Easy for Adults with ADHD

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photoA friend is writing a book about decision management. She says that you can’t manage time, but you can manage decisions. I think she might be right unless…….You have ADHD. Decisions are difficult for people with ADHD. Because decisions are difficult many times they over-complicate an issue. They take a walk down the “What If” lane.

An example might be trying to make a decision about what color of T-shirt to buy. Seriously! This is difficult for those with ADHD. Should they buy the blue, red or green one? They might stand there trying to decide for a good little while until……they either walk away without buying any, or they buy one in each color. As they walk away, however, they have buyer’s remorse if they bought one in each color or near panic if they didn’t buy any of them. They fear that if they decide that they want the shirt, they will be sold out, or they fear getting their credit card bill in the mail and having to explain to their spouse that they did it again! They couldn’t decide so, they bought them all!

While you might think this is rather amusing, it’s really painful for the Adult with ADHD. So what’s the way out? A little self- talk would be in order here. Tell yourself that you would rather have different styles of shirts so you will only buy one. But which one will it be??? The one that goes with your eyes, of course. Hold the shirt up close to your face and see if it brightens your face. If it does, that’s the one! It really is just that simple. Give it a shot and let me know how it works out for you! Oh, and by the way, this happens with non-ADHD people too, so listen up!

 

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What Are Your Comfort Things?

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my comfort thingsA friend called to give me an update on the status of her mother who had been in the hospital for several weeks. The family, always supportive, sometimes close, sometimes not so close had done a wonderful job of making sure that this much loved mom was not alone during her stay in the hospital.

Gradually her mom improved, got out of intensive care and was ready to be moved into a facility where they could care for her during her recovery. My friend had already had to miss work for extensive amounts of time for two hospitalizations that involved her son. Now, her mom. She was devoted to her mom and it was painful for her to hear the staff tell her that her mom did well when the family was there, but when they left her heart began to do strange dangerous things. What to do? My friend needed to take care of her mom, but she needed to take care of her son, but she needed to take care of her husband, but she needed to take care of her job, but she needed to reconnect with friends, but she needed to clean her house, but she needed to SLEEP! So many things that she needed to do, but now she was being told that her mother’s life (her heart) needed her to be there in order to function properly.

As I listened, I remembered when I was in the hospital, in intensive care, after an emergency surgery that removed my spleen and left me with a collapsed lung that needed to re-inflate. Was I scared? You bet I was! Did I feel all alone? Absolutely! Did I want my family there? I wanted them, and only them to help me navigate through all the difficulties that simply existing brought forth. They did a wonderful job of taking care of me, but as I listened to my friend I remembered some other things that helped.

My bible! Since I had been taken by ambulance to the hospital I didn’t have my bible with me. My daughter loaned me hers and I kept it open on my chest as I rested and awaited surgery. My mp-3 player with audio books on it kept my mind from wandering into scary places. My sound machine -the hospital is a noisy place. My eye pillow – I have one that is lavender scented ( a gift from my fabulous nephew) and one that is peppermint scented (made for me by my daughter) that feel like a little piece of heaven resting on my eyes when the world becomes too bright and noisy! My neck pillow – just a small roll of memory foam that supported the curvature of my neck when I was forced to lie flat. My corn bag – a gift from my father-in-law many years ago that when heated in the microwave and put at the foot of the bed under the covers, keeps my feet warm for hours! These are a few of the comfort things that made a big difference when I was alone and scared in a world where I had no control over the smallest thing.

My friend thanked me for sharing these things and said that I always have good ideas. I don’t know about that, but I thought these things that are comforting to me, might spark ideas in others about the things that bring comfort to them. After all, this world is sometimes too bright, too noisy, too tight, and too scary. We could all use a little bit of comfort to make it through life. What helps you feel comfortable?

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Relationship Energy

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When Relationships are new they are exciting and we love spending time together. Energy abounds and we can’t wait for the next time we see the new person in our lives. Everything is fresh, new, and exciting. This level of energy is hard to sustain though, and it isn’t long before we feel the relationship slipping. We still care about the person and we still want to grow into a relationship with them, but there doesn’t seem to be enough of us to go around. Where did all that excitement and anticipation go?

A decade ago we talked a lot about time management. I think we have talked this one to death. Managing our time has taken a back seat to managing our energy. As technology has improved, and the economy has demanded that we find ways to cut costs, many people are working from home offices. Even when we don’t work from our home offices we are “connected” to work 24/7 through mobile devices like laptops and cell phones. The boundaries between work, family time, and leisure have blurred.

When this first started happening we tried to manage our time better. Now, we are beginning to realize that we can’t manage our time when we have demands hitting us constantly (thanks to technology). Maybe managing our time isn’t the answer. Perhaps we should turn our attention to managing our energy. This concept is really a good one to work with in today’s world because in order to make sure we have energy for the important things in our lives we are going to have to learn to conserve and manage that energy so that we have enough for all that is important to us (including all those friends and loved ones).

Unfortunately, we aren’t yet doing such a good job of energy conservation and many of us are finding that the important people in our lives are getting whatever is left over at the end of the day which isn’t much. When we do finally get to spend some time with our loved ones, we are definitely not at our best. Our minds are sometimes fuzzy. We sometimes fall asleep right in the middle of the movie we were looking forward to enjoying with our loved one. Heaven forbid if our significant other wants to “discuss” anything. We just don’t have the energy for it! The solutions to this problem are yet to be discovered. What I know for sure, though, is that we have to intentionally decide to take control of our energy expenditures and learn “energy management” or we might just end up with a job, but nobody with whom to enjoy life.  So, what can you do to manage your energy better?

 

COACHES CORNER: 

The person that falls asleep during the much anticipated movie is me! I sometimes feel like the energizer bunny. I just go and go until I can’t anymore and when I find myself with a few minutes to just sit down and do nothing…..I nod off. That isn’t even the worst of it though. I love my friends and family so much and I honestly think about them all the time, but they never know it because good intentions don’t count when it comes to spending time with or even spending time talking on the phone with the people who are important in my life. I think I need the benefit of my own coaching and need to learn to set those boundaries a little tighter. The Energy Management idea came from a book that I have only just begun to read called Elsewhere USA by Dalton Conley. When I was introduced to this term, it opened my eyes to a new way to look at things. You see, I have been stuck on trying to manage my time, not my energy. It hasn’t been working for me and I would venture to guess that it hasn’t been working for you either. Won’t you join me in exploring what this new concept could mean to your life? Take the coaching challenge below and report back to me what you discover!

COACHING CHALLENGE:

  • Get out your journal out. Dust it off if necessary!
  • List the important people in your life leaving at least five spaces between each name. Make separate pages for family and for friends.
  • Look at the list and honestly appraise how much energy you have put into each relationship in the last six months.
  • If you are satisfied that you have put in enough energy to properly maintain your relationships, close your journal and move on, but if you aren’t, proceed.
  • In the spaces below each name write things you know that you and that person enjoy doing together.
  • Grab your planner and see when you can connect with each person. Write the date in the space below the name along with the way you would like to spend time with them.
  • Contact them either by phone or email and make it a date! (Hint: since moving to Arizona I can’t see many of the people I care about the most so I try to make phone dates with them). One of my clients even has a phone date with one of her best friends as they watch the same TV program together each from a different state! You have to get creative.
  • Let me know how it’s going. I love success stories. If you are having difficulties achieving success, schedule a coaching call to get you started. Good luck!
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Are We Trying To Do Too Much?

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Multitasking has become a buzz word in today’s world. It used to be “He who has the most toys before he dies        wins.” Now I wonder if it is “She who juggles the most tasks wins.” There is no doubt that we are expected by society, our jobs, peers, and families to do many things well in the same 24 hours that we have always had. The expectation of society is big problem in a lot of areas, but who is “society?” Isn’t that us, you and me?

The term “multitasking” originated in the computer world. It simply means that computers are able to do many tasks at the same time. However, even that is not really true. It is just that computers can flip back and forth between tasks very rapidly. So can we, but at what cost?

There has been a lot of research on this multitasking thing recently. It turns out that we are shortchanging ourselves in many ways when we attempt to multitask. If our reason for multitasking is that we want to save time, we might want to rethink that. Research is pointing to the fact that we really can’t put out attention on more than one thing at a time, but, like the computer, we can flip from one thing to another rapidly.

The cost, however, is that, unlike the computer, our brains need to have time to refocus on each task each time we turn to it. This refocusing time, actually costs us time in the long run. We may feel like we are getting more done, but the time wasted on refocusing really adds up in the course of a day. Not only does it take longer to complete tasks, but research is also saying that the results we get on all of our tasks are not nearly as good as they would be if we had focused on each of them exclusively.

We are shortchanging ourselves in a number of ways.

  • Physically:   When we put stress on ourselves to multitask, we are putting our bodies into a state of emergency. This causes our bodies to release a powerful hormone called cortisol. Cortisol is the hormone that we often call the “fight or flight” hormone. It is a useful hormone that helps us deal with emergencies and deadlines, but when it is constantly being pumped into our bodies (as in multitasking) it sometimes causes health problems.
  • Mentally:   Mental functions decrease and show up as memory loss, difficulty with word retrieval, poor concentration and loss of focus. What’s more, it has also been discovered that over time being in a constant state of emergency destroys neurons in the brain in the pre-frontal cortex. And guess what? The pre-frontal cortex is the part of the brain we need in order to multitask, meet deadlines, make decisions, and curb impulses. It is the part of the brain that is often referred to as the “executive” center of the brain. When the pre-frontal cortex is compromised, we become scattered and unable to focus.

So what do we do? I know that modern life requires us to do a certain amount of multitasking, otherwise we simply would not be able to complete all the things we need to do in a day even if we reduce these things down to a bare minimum.  I would like to suggest that we be very careful how we combine tasks in order to multitask safely and productively.  Some safe multitasking might be:

  • folding the laundry while talking on the phone.
  • Listen to an audio-book or music while raking leaves or exercising.

Some things we might want to avoid because of the way the brain processes are:

  •  Talking on the phone and writing an email at the same time.
  • Driving and texting.

The things that use the same parts of the brain need to be avoided.  Multitasking should be limited to those things that don’t require a lot of decision making.  We should also avoid multitasking when it could be dangerous to do so.

With all that being said, I would like to say that I think our world is out of control and a little bit crazy making. We need to start to rethink our positions on a lot of things and simplify our lives. Without a good balance, all the toys in the world will not make us happy. We will just be stressed out trying to take care of all of our toys.

Coaching Corner

As I was writing this post, I went into the kitchen to check on the dip my husband was making for an afternoon of ballgame watching. I ran downstairs to get some disposable bowls for the dip and remembered that I was painting a table and it needed several coats of paint. So I left the bowls on the stairs, got out the paint, and painted the table. Then I grabbed the bowls, ran back upstairs, checked on the dip in the oven, determined that it needed more time to cook, and ran

back to my computer to finish this post. Clearly, I am not practicing what I preach! I tell you this because I want you to know that what inspired me to write this post is that I need it! I need to put into words what I already know, and I need to keep putting this out into the world until I can find a way to work it into my life. Sometimes I feel bent under the weight of all the things I have to get done in a day. I know that you feel that way too. So, what do you say we take steps to make some changes. After all, we, you and I, are society. And change in “society” has to start with us.

Coaching Challenge:

  • keep track of all of your multitasking activities for one week.
  • Ask yourself why you are trying to do too many things at once. Is it because you need more money and have to work harder to earn it? If so, ask yourself if you can reduce your expenses. Is it because the kids are involved in too many activities? Think about limiting them to one per season per child. You get the picture.

Until we know why we are trying to fit too much into our lives, we can’t eliminate any of it.get out your journal. Write about the ways you over tax yourself and the reasons why. Try to get some clarity in those areas.

 


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